First day at CS tomorrow

​I finished my month long training for Cellular Sales yesterday and start work on my own tomorrow. I’m trying to be excited but I’m mostly just nervous. This job is the biggest challenge I’ve ever had career wise and has the potential to make me triple what I did at my last job if I can get good at it, so the pressure is on. I don’t feel prepared, but even if I had another month of training I don’t think I’d feel ready. There is so much information you need to know and a-lot of it changes pretty consistently. Also it’s an in person sales job so I really need to believe in myself in ways I have not in a very long time. 

I cant believe I made it this far. After my 1st interview I was convinced I wouldn’t get a callback. I was off my game and barely was able to answer the questions. I figured after the 2nd interview that they would go with someone else more qualified. When I started the hiring process I figured my charge from 2013 would get me to lose the offer. Then, I started the month long training process which is considered an “extended interview” and was certain I wouldn’t be able to cut it. Every day I felt like I was taking in too much information to remember and was so nervous I made mistakes and could barely hold myself together. Even yesterday, my last day of training, I had situations I will not be able to handle on my own and made a lot of mistakes, all the while trying my absolute hardest. 

This job means a lot to me and I am pushing myself harder than I ever have. I wake up every morning at 5 am, covered in sweat, heart and mind racing. It takes everything in me to work through the doubt, and just show up and keep trying. Every day when I get off work I’m so mentally exhausted and feel so discouraged that I barely have enough brain power to get when I need done for the next day, let alone enjoy myself or socialize. My schedule also prevents me from going to church, bible study, and seeing my friends. The job literally takes everything I have, and that doesn’t even seem to be enough yet. Success feels impossible, but I don’t think I could live with myself if I gave up so early. The next few months are going to be very nerve wracking, even if I do ok, and incredible devastating if I fail. All I can do is keep moving forward and hope all this hard work and sacrifice pay off. If it doesn’t, I’m not sure what I’m going to do.