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1st week on the floor CS

​ I’ve been on the floor at CS for a week. It’s very nerve wracking and I’m constantly clueless what to do. I have serious doubts I can keep up with all the information that is constantly changing and all the glitchy complex systems I have to use. Even when I do know what I’m doing, which is rare, there are endless glitches and customers make things very difficult. I’m dreading going into work tomorrow. I don’t know how I’m supposed to be confident and relaxed enough to pitch what I need to in order to make any money. Every time I turn around, I’ve done something else wrong or there is a bunch of changes. Plus, with my new schedule now I work Friday night so I can’t hang out with Mike like I do every week. I also can’t go to Bible study or church and see my parents anymore. That’s not gonna change.  It’s hard being so stressed out and I don’t get to see the people that I care about, and then on top of that feeling like I’m doing a terrible job. Before I lost my job in advance, I wa...

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A little over a year and a half ago ago I was employee of the quarter regularly, a top performer, trainer, and being considered for a promotion at work. Now I am literally one mistake away from being fired. This issue started once I quit drinking. I’m struggling at living a normal life. No matter what mountain I climb there is always another one that is steeper. Now on top of needing doctors and healthcare I cannot afford, I have to live with the fact that I could lose my income at any moment. I also have to live with the fact that whenever I talk about my problems it makes other people feel uncomfortable or resent me for the most part. Even most people whos problems and I listen to seem to pull back or just dont know what to say and i get alienated regardless of whether it’s fair or not. I have to keep my problems supressed for the most part because I will literally have no one left. I do what I can but I feel like no matter how hard I pay attention and try to think before I speak and act I always end up saying something that gets people to just disappear from my life overnight. The problem is no matter how much I try to avoid repeat mistakes there is always something else I didn’t consider so I’ve just come to realize 99% of people just dont want me around and I don’t think there is anything I can do about that. I wish I could end this on more of a positive hopeful note but I just don’t have it in me today. I got through work that’s all that matters.

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