im fucked

i somehow managed to lose my gabapentin i JUST got refilled. im out right now looking for them around where i walked earlier. i havent opened it or taken a single one. im retracing my steps but it was hours ago, busy area and i was walk all around so it could be any number of places.

I seriously have no memory of what I did with the paper bag it was in after I walked out of the front door of Kroger. I am completely 100% clear headed, but my memory is completely blank from the time i went from kroger to my apartment to drop off the medication and get my vape and go for a walk.

problem is that the pharmacy will not refill medication because its schedule 1 so, if you lose it, too bad. So, it looks like I am withdrawing off 600 mg 3x a day all at once. this is going to be physically painful as well as psychologically painful.

I wasn’t paying attention for several minutes out of the day, after being on guard emotionally and physically all day long i let myself relax for 15 minutes and I managed to lose the most important thing possible.

I mean, I was literally just starting to feel better today which is an insane, massive achievement and now it’s all getting ripped away. All because of one little mistake. I’m going to suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer because I dared relax for a couple minutes out of the day.

i’m out right now looking and I will be out all night if i dont find them, but I dont have much hope. i’ve looked everywhere.

If I dropped them, I don’t know why I would though, but if i did it would have been on the way back from kroger. it makes no sense at all.