A little over a year and a half ago ago I was employee of the quarter regularly, a top performer, trainer, and being considered for a promotion at work. Now I am literally one mistake away from being fired. This issue started once I quit drinking. I’m struggling at living a normal life. No matter what mountain I climb there is always another one that is steeper. Now on top of needing doctors and healthcare I cannot afford, I have to live with the fact that I could lose my income at any moment. I also have to live with the fact that whenever I talk about my problems it makes other people feel uncomfortable or resent me for the most part. Even most people whos problems and I listen to seem to pull back or just dont know what to say and i get alienated regardless of whether it’s fair or not. I have to keep my problems supressed for the most part because I will literally have no one left. I do what I can but I feel like no matter how hard I pay attention and try to think before I speak and act I always end up saying something that gets people to just disappear from my life overnight. The problem is no matter how much I try to avoid repeat mistakes there is always something else I didn’t consider so I’ve just come to realize 99% of people just dont want me around and I don’t think there is anything I can do about that. I wish I could end this on more of a positive hopeful note but I just don’t have it in me today. I got through work that’s all that matters.