love is never easy. not too attractive to the weak.

before I ruin all this with pessimism and insecurity I’m just gonna take a minute to think about how far I’ve come here. I deserve to be proud of myself for once I don’t wanna forget that.

I self corrected on the relapse all by myself faster than I ever have, I forced myself to go to the hospital and get help even when I didn’t want to, I keep rising to every single challenges I put in front of myself, then get bored and go back for more. Have you even mended the relationship with my parents and gone above and beyond explaining everything to them with a lot more patience.

And then, if that wasn’t enough, I am finally putting off the right energy to attract people that I’m interested in and holy hell did it ever work out better than I thought. I keep thinking this isn’t real. I haven’t felt this way about anybody and as long as I can remember. At least a decade.

I sure hope I don’t fuck this up. I Can’t afford to. I can afford to lose, but I can’t afford not to try. It’s worth it no matter what happens. Ever forward.