you and me

I just wanna say that I appreciate you taking the time to read this, i know its alot. No matter what the outcome, no matter your reaction, I just appreciate you taking time to listen. All I’m after here is the truth and I think you are someone who will actually give me that instead of comfortable nonsense. The worst that can happen is this will be a very helpful and valuable life experience and I will understand myself better so thank you for in advance if you make it all the way through. 

I was really interested in you, as in more than a friend, and you seemed to be interested at first, but then pulled back. its disappointing, but if thats whats best for you, im fully behind it. i just want to make sure I’m not backing away out of miscommunication or insecurity. 

I have to be honest I started out writing this to push myself to give it one last shot and ask you you out on a date and explain that I feel like I’ve been holding back due to some insecurity but after talking the past few days I just see that barrier being put up and while I don’t want to compare you to other people, this pattern of behavior is very familiar to me.

Typically, this means the woman is not interested in more than friendship and is letting me down easy. Normally I really appreciate when women do that but with you I feel like I’ll have to be rejected outright before I can leave you alone.

my intuition tells me I should probably have already walked away to save whats left of my deflated ego. But this time is different. You are special to me. That scares me just saying it but I’m tired of living my life in fear of rejection that comes anyway.  

I’ve been putting off asking you out because I am intimidated. I actually care about you and can get really hurt & normaly do. To me, it seems like you are giving clear signs that is exactly what is going to happen.

Still, for some reason I cannot just walk away. If there is a chance I’m wrong I want to know and if so, I am asking you out on a date, here and now. I have to say I think you and I would work well together once we actually know each other better. Honestly, I feel like I know that but I just need to know if you feel the same way. 

Thank for hearing me out. if I don’t hear from you again, please take care of yourself. just know you will always be special to me and I really appreciate you being in my life. For just a brief time that you were, you made it a lot brighter place.

take care,

mattt