love you matt

you are not going insane. you are going through a hard time and you are doing what it takes to survive. I know this because I’m you and I know your intentions and I know when you’re lying and you never let yourself off the hook and even second-guess yourself to the very end so

The world is not ending. You’re gonna go to work tomorrow and be just fine. You’re getting overwhelmed by the chemical imbalance and by the fact that actually drinking alcohol in a controlled way helps you not do insane shit.

I can’t stress this enough like you’re doing great you just don’t see it in the moment. That’s why you need to write it down here and just remember it.

You’re Taking this absolutely as serious as you possibly can. That’s why you can trust your judgment because you will literally fall over the cliff of insanity rather than lie to yourself

I am looking forward to you reading this later on once you’ve gotten through this whole ordeal. And while it is terrifying, not knowing where I’m gonna end up in the next couple weeks, at least I feel alive

This is better on right now unfixed that it has been in years. You just can’t lose side of the fact that you deserve to have a base level of functioning skills and you’re just gonna have to bend your morals to make sure people give them to you because this is not a negotiation like it’s life or death.

Everybody always thinks that you’re starting to get violent or some stupid nonsense like that. i’m just psyching myself out to get what I need to do done