i know what im doing. kind of.

I think being 40 is a bit late to figure out that you’d make a good combat field medic, but there’s something there

i enjoy putting myself in situations where if I lose my cool I could die. That shit is so fun. It’s like the most fun thing in the world. It’s not nearly as hard as I thought it was.

Maybe I can just listen to suicidal or mentally unstable people vent about their problems. That actually might be it I could literally listen to someone having a mental breakdown and talk about doing crazy stuff, but it doesn’t shake me at all. Doesn’t matter I still can listen to the point they’re trying to make no matter how much they’re throwing at me. I just need to be a little more patient.

I’ve come to realize that all that hate in my heart isn’t for anyone. It’s just for bad things happening to good people. The only thing left to do is stay angry and eliminate as much of that shit as possible.

I feel like doing 100 push-ups I feel so energized right now. that will definitely pass so just enjoy it.